A lot of families we hear from are living two or three hours away from a parent who has dementia. They have jobs, children, a mortgage, and a phone that pings at midnight with an update from a neighbour who noticed the lights were on at 3am. When a company promises that a small device on the kitchen table can talk to a parent, sing them old songs, remind them about medication, and give a family some peace of mind, it is very hard not to buy it. The technology looks impressive in the brochure. Some of it genuinely is.

But quite a few of those same families end up in a complicated place a few months later. The device is still there. The parent is still alone most of the day. And the family is still guilty, just in a new and stranger way.

What these devices actually do well

The honest answer is: some real things. Devices and tablet-based companions designed for people with dementia can help with simple, repeated prompting. Things like medication reminders, the time and day, gentle music from the decade that still feels familiar. According to the Alzheimer's Society, familiarity and routine are genuinely important to a person living with dementia, and if a device consistently delivers the same calm voice at the same time each morning, that is not nothing.

For families who cannot visit every day, a two-way video prompt can also reduce the panic of not knowing what kind of day the person is having. Age UK notes that social isolation is one of the most damaging conditions facing older people in the UK, and if a device breaks up six hours of silence, it may genuinely soften that.

So this is not an argument that the technology is worthless. It is not. The question is what it is worth, and what it cannot replace.

Where the limits show up

Dementia is not a memory-loss problem with a tech solution. It is a progressive condition that changes how a person experiences the world, including how they experience other people. The Alzheimer's Society describes how, as dementia progresses, a person may lose the ability to initiate conversation, maintain a thread, or distinguish between a real person and a recorded voice. A device that felt like company in the early stages can start to feel like a wall.

Dementia UK's Admiral Nurses, who work specifically with families of people with dementia, are clear that what most people living with the condition need is relational care. A carer who comes on Tuesday and remembers that the person once worked in a garden centre. A carer who notices that they seem more agitated than last week. A carer who simply sits with them and does not need them to perform. A device cannot notice. It cannot adapt. It cannot sit in silence in the way that another person can.

There is also something worth naming about what the technology is being asked to solve. In some cases, families are genuinely remote and a device genuinely bridges a gap. In other cases, and nobody should feel ashamed to recognise this in themselves, the device is being used because the right level of human care is expensive or hard to arrange, and the device is cheaper and more convenient. That is an understandable position. It is also worth being honest about, because the person living with dementia will feel the difference even if they cannot say so. NICE guidance on dementia care consistently emphasises personalised, human-centred support as the foundation, with technology playing a supplementary role, not a primary one.

What good actually looks like in any arrangement

Good dementia care, in any arrangement, has a few things in common. It is consistent: the same person showing up, not a rotation of unfamiliar faces that requires the person with dementia to orient themselves afresh every visit. It is relational: the carer knows something about the person beyond their care needs. It is observed: someone is actually noticing changes day to day and either responding or flagging. And it is chosen: the family has met the carer before any arrangement begins, and has decided they trust that person in their parent's home.

A device can supplement that. It cannot substitute for it. If a family is leaning on one because the right human arrangement feels too hard to find, the Dementia UK Admiral Nurse Helpline on 0800 888 6678 is a good first call. The nurses there will not judge the question. They hear it constantly. The Alzheimer's Society Dementia Connect line on 0333 150 3456 is available seven days a week and can also help families think through practical options.

Hibant works with families across London who are trying to find consistent, dementia-aware care for a parent at home. The arrangement we offer is one carer, introduced directly to the family, with the family choosing that person themselves after meeting them first. That is not a feature of our service. It is the shape of care that actually works for someone with dementia.

What families in this situation often tell us is that they wish they had known sooner that the device was not going to be enough, and that finding the right person, even if it took a few weeks, changed everything.

One thing to do this week

If the device is there and the parent is still mostly alone, call the Dementia UK Admiral Nurse Helpline on 0800 888 6678. It is free, it is not a sales call, and the nurses there are specifically trained to help families of people with dementia think through exactly this kind of situation. You do not need to have a crisis to call. You just need to be where you are.

If you would like to talk through whether a consistent, vetted, family-chosen carer could work for your parent in London, we are at Hibant and we would be glad to hear from you. We are a London introductory care agency. Every carer we introduce has been DBS-checked and insurance-verified before any introduction is made. You meet the carer yourself before any arrangement begins, you choose the person, and the carer you choose is the one who shows up, not whoever is available that morning. For a parent with dementia, that consistency matters more than almost anything else. You can reach us at hello@hibantcare.com or at hibantcare.com.

Hibant

---

Useful links to keep handy

Useful links to keep handy

Looking for care or thinking of joining Hibant?

Whether you are a family navigating care for a loved one or a carer looking for fairer, more meaningful work, we would love to hear from you.

Find a carer Join as a carer
← Back to Understanding Care Questions? Get in touch