You have already done the thing most people put off for months. You rang social services. And then you sat by the phone, and nothing moved quickly enough, and your parent still needs help getting dressed and having breakfast tomorrow morning. That gap between "I made the call" and "someone is actually here" is one of the most exhausting places to be in, and the fact that you are looking for a solution rather than just hoping things will sort themselves out says a lot about how hard you are working right now.

The waiting is not your fault. Council social care teams are under real pressure, and the assessment process takes time by design, even when the need is urgent. But the gap is real, and your parent's mornings do not pause for a queue. So here is what families in this situation actually do.

Keep pushing on the council side, in writing

Do not let the social services referral go quiet. Under the Care Act 2014, your parent has a legal right to a needs assessment, and if the need is urgent, the council has a duty to act without delay. Ring the duty team directly and ask specifically for an urgent review. Follow every phone call with an email so there is a paper trail. If you feel the response is unreasonably slow, Citizens Advice can help you understand your rights and draft a letter, and their advisers are free on 0800 144 8848.

If at some point the council agrees your parent qualifies for funded support, ask about direct payments. This is where the council gives you the money to arrange care yourself rather than placing a council-contracted carer. It puts you in control of who comes and when, which matters a lot when you want continuity for your parent rather than a different face every visit.

Arrange private care for the short term

While the council works through its process, most families find they need to arrange something privately and quickly. There are a few routes, each with trade-offs you should know about.

Some families find carers through word of mouth, which can work well if you have a trusted network locally. The risk is that you have no independent way to verify the person's background, and if they cancel at short notice, you are back to square one with no backup.

Others search directly on general job boards or community sites. This gives you the most control over cost and the terms of the arrangement, but the vetting burden falls entirely on you. At minimum, anyone coming into your parent's home should have a current enhanced DBS check you have seen yourself, proof of public liability insurance, and verifiable references. Skills for Care publishes guidance on what safe recruitment looks like for people arranging their own care. It is worth reading before you start any interviews.

The third route is an introductory care agency. This sits between a managed care agency (where the agency employs the carer and runs the rota) and doing everything yourself. An introductory agency finds and vets carers, then introduces you to one so you can meet them, decide whether the fit is right, and arrange directly with them. You pay the carer, not a management layer on top. Hibant works this way, as one option for London families in exactly this situation.

What good actually looks like in any arrangement

Before you settle on anyone, it is worth being clear in your own head about what matters most. For a parent who needs morning help, you probably care less about having an enormous pool of carers to choose from and more about having the same carer, reliably, every morning. Continuity matters for dignity and for practical safety. A parent who is getting used to a routine will struggle every time a new person walks through the door. That is not fussiness; it is just how people work.

So whatever route you take, the things worth checking are: will you meet the carer before they start, can you ask for the same person each visit, has someone independent verified their DBS check and references, and is there a clear arrangement in writing so both sides know what is expected. These are not premium requests. They are the baseline of what a sensible arrangement looks like.

Age UK's free advice line on 0800 678 1602 can help you think through whether private care is the right call right now and what kind of arrangement fits your parent's needs. They have no commercial stake in the outcome, which makes them a good first call if you are still unsure which direction to go.

What families in this situation often tell us they wish they had known sooner is that arranging privately does not mean giving up on the council. You can do both at the same time. Keep the assessment in the queue, and meet someone who can start this week.

The one thing worth doing tonight is ringing the council duty team first thing tomorrow and asking specifically for an urgent assessment. Have a pen ready and write down the name of whoever you speak to. That single call, followed up in writing, is the thing that moves the queue.

If you would rather not do the vetting work on your own, that is exactly what we are here for. We are a London introductory care agency called Hibant. Every carer we introduce has been DBS-checked, insurance-verified, and reference-checked before you meet them. You choose the carer yourself after an in-person meeting, before any arrangement begins, and you pay the carer directly so most of what you pay goes to the person actually doing the work. If this sounds like it fits what you need right now, you can email us at hello@hibantcare.com or take a look at hibantcare.com.

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