You did not realise you had a choice. The agency rang back, said someone would come Tuesday morning, and the rest of the conversation was about timings. The person you would actually open your front door to, who would help your mother undress, sit with her for forty-five minutes, leave a note that may or may not be accurate, was decided by someone you have never met.

If that is what your introduction to private care has looked like, you are not the only family that left the first phone call quietly uneasy. The introductory-agency model and the rota-based agency model produce different experiences of care from the first day, and most families do not realise they have a choice between them until they are already inside one and find it does not fit.

Two different models, sold as the same thing

Most domiciliary care in the UK works on a rota. The agency holds a contract with you and assigns carers from a pool. The carer who visits on Tuesday may not be the carer who visits on Wednesday. The agency tells you our team will be there, and that is technically true. It is also, often, a different face every day.

Some families find this works well enough. The work is being done, the medication is being given. For others, especially where the person being cared for has dementia, a learning disability, end-of-life needs, or simply a long memory of how they like their tea, a rota of strangers compounds the loss they were already feeling. According to Dementia UK, people living with dementia who see consistent carers experience less distress, fewer agitated episodes, and better engagement with washing and eating. Continuity is not a soft preference. It is clinical.

The other model is introductory. An agency does the work of finding, vetting, and verifying a carer, and then introduces that one specific person to you. You meet them. You ask them whatever you want. You decide whether they are right. If they are not, you do not move forward. This is the part most families do not know is allowed.

What changes when you meet the carer first

You learn whether they are someone your mother will tolerate when she is tired. You learn whether they have actually done the kind of personal care your father needs, or whether their experience was different. You learn whether they speak the language you needed them to speak. You learn whether you trust them in your house with the keys you will eventually hand over.

You also learn whether they are the kind of person who turns up early and reads the room, or the kind of person who needs you to manage them. That is information you do not get from a CV, and you do not get from an agency coordinator on the phone.

The question to ask any agency before you sign

It is one sentence. Who, specifically, will visit my relative on Tuesday morning.

If the agency answers with a name, ask to meet that person before any commitment. If the agency answers one of our team, ask whether you can meet the team. If the answer is we cannot tell you in advance, you have learned what the model is. That is not a glitch in their system. It is the system.

Two more questions, optional but useful. What is the average tenure of your carers. A high turnover means the rota will churn. And what happens if the named carer cannot come.

One thing you can do this week

If you have not yet committed to an arrangement, ring two agencies. Ask each one the who, specifically, will visit question. Listen to the answer. You will know, by the second call, which kind of arrangement each is offering.

If you have already committed and the rota is not working, you can leave. You do not need a reason beyond this is not the right fit. Notice periods vary but most are short. Citizens Advice publishes guidance on cancelling care contracts.

If you would rather start by meeting the carer before any contract is signed, that is the model Hibant works in. Hibant is a London introductory care agency. We introduce families to specific carers we have vetted ourselves, you meet them at your kitchen table or via a video call, and you choose the one that fits. If they are not the right person, you do not commit. To talk it through, email hello@hibantcare.com or visit hibantcare.com.

Hibant

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