The moment a parent says yes to help is one you probably waited months for. Maybe longer. And then, almost immediately, the relief tips into a different kind of panic: what do I actually do now? Who do I call? How many visits? What happens when I tell them about the savings? If you have just hit this point, you are not lost. You are just at the beginning of a process that nobody explains clearly until you are already in it.

That gap between the yes and the actual carer turning up at the door is where most families quietly unravel. You have already done the hard part, getting your parent to agree. The rest is navigable, even if it does not feel that way tonight.

The care assessment: what it is and why you still need it even if they are self-funding

You have contacted the council and you are waiting to hear back. That is exactly the right first move, and it is worth knowing why it still matters even though your parent will be paying for their own care.

A care needs assessment is a formal process where the council sends someone, usually a social worker or an occupational therapist, to look at what your parent can and cannot safely do on their own. Under the Care Act 2014, every adult in England is entitled to this assessment regardless of their finances. According to gov.uk, the council must carry out the assessment if it appears that the person may have care and support needs. The savings level is relevant to who pays, not to whether the assessment happens.

The assessment matters for a few reasons. It gives you an independent professional opinion on what level of support is actually needed. It creates a written care plan you can refer back to. And if your parent's condition changes and their savings eventually fall below the current threshold (which as of 2025 is set at twelve thousand pounds for partial council contribution, and below around twenty three thousand five hundred for full council funding in England), having an assessment already on record means you are not starting from scratch.

If the council is slow, which they often are, Age UK's advice line on 0800 678 1602 can help you push for a date. They have navigated this with thousands of families and they have no commercial stake in what you decide.

Working out visit frequency: there is no universal right answer

One of the most common questions families ask at this stage is how many visits a week their parent actually needs. The honest answer is that it depends on how the Alzheimer's is presenting right now, and that will change over time.

NICE guidance on dementia care makes clear that the aim is to support a person to live as safely and independently as possible, which in practice means matching the level of support to the actual gaps in the day, not filling the day with care for the sake of it.

For someone in the earlier stages of Alzheimer's who still manages most daily tasks, one or two visits a day is often a reasonable starting point. A morning visit for getting up, washed, and breakfasted. An evening check-in for medication and settling down. As things progress, a lunchtime visit is often added. The Alzheimer's Society helpline on 0333 150 3456 is genuinely useful here: they will talk through where your parent is in their journey and what a typical care plan at that stage looks like. They offer advice in multiple languages too.

What matters more than frequency, especially with Alzheimer's, is consistency. A parent with dementia will often be more distressed by a different face every morning than by slightly fewer visits from one familiar person. The Alzheimer's Society is very clear on this: familiarity and routine reduce anxiety and behavioural symptoms in dementia. A carer who comes every day and knows your parent, knows their habits, knows not to move the mug, knows which songs they still remember, is worth more than a higher visit count from a rotating rota.

What self-funding actually means in practice

If your parent has savings above the upper capital limit, the council will still carry out the assessment, but the funding itself will be private. You have a few routes from there.

You can arrange care directly through a care provider. The council can give you a list of local providers, and you can also ask the council for a direct payment, where the money goes to you or your parent to spend on a carer of your choosing. According to gov.uk, direct payments give you more control over who delivers care and when. This is worth asking about specifically.

What good care looks like in any of these arrangements is the same regardless of how you pay for it. One carer, or a very small, stable team. A carer your family has met and chosen, not someone dispatched without introduction. A carer whose DBS check and insurance has been independently verified before they set foot in the house. And a direct relationship between your family and the carer, so that when something changes at seven in the morning, you are not navigating a phone tree.

Hibant is a London introductory care agency and this is exactly the situation we work with families on. We introduce families to independently vetted carers and you meet the carer yourself before any arrangement starts.

What families in this situation tell us they wish they had known earlier is that the agency layer can sometimes be the thing that breaks continuity. When a provider sends whoever is available that shift, the familiarity your parent needs is the first thing that goes. Asking directly about continuity, before any arrangement begins, is not being difficult. It is the most important question you can ask.

One thing to do tomorrow morning

If you have not already had a date confirmed for the care assessment, ring the council's adult social care team tomorrow and ask specifically for a written acknowledgement that the referral has been received and an estimated waiting time. Keep the reference number. Then ring the Alzheimer's Society on 0333 150 3456, even if just for twenty minutes, and talk through what stage your parent is at. They will help you think about visit frequency in a way that is specific to your situation, not generic.

You are further along than you think. The yes was the hardest part.

If you would rather not do the next steps on your own, we are here. We are a London introductory care agency. Every carer we introduce has been DBS-checked, insurance-verified, and reference-checked by us before meeting any family. You choose the carer yourself, and you meet them in person before any arrangement begins. If your parent has Alzheimer's, we pay particular attention to finding someone who can offer real continuity, someone who will come regularly and get to know your parent rather than rotate through on a rota. You can reach us by email at hello@hibantcare.com or have a read through what we do at hibantcare.com.

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